Hellinger’s Approach

Hellinger’s Approach

Alemka Dauskardt is one of the living ‘disciples’ of the non-guru philosopher, psychotherapist and poet Bert Hellinger. She worked closely with him, learned from and with him and has been working on keeping his legacy alive and developing.

When I’ve felt lost within the wider community of constellation work, it was Alemka who gave me wise direction without saying much. One poignant piece of advice she gave me years ago at an ISCA conference in Croatia was, “Silvia, you can stop working so hard”. I received it with tears of relief and gratefulness, although it took me a long while to understand the fullness of what she said. Her words have been with me since; and whenever I’ve been finding myself stressed about my career as a Family Constellations Facilitator, I knew I had to just stop and breathe. When I work hard and want to force it, the Field contracts. When I accept what is and bring my playful, creative energy into it, the Field expands. The emerging future is always just a breath away, and the Field is guiding me. All I can do is be still, be here, now, at all times and hold my intention gently with humility. The intention being, I bring the phenomenological approach according to Bert Hellinger into the world. And that I have been doing in my own, small, individual way, for the last 16+ years. I have lately been feeling much more in the flow of Life, and I find myself accepting of what is. My last workshop left me full of Love and gratefulness, with a sense of having arrived in my own unique light.

Alemka Dauskardt, Max Dauskardt, Family Constellations according to Hellinger
Alemka and Max Dauskardt, 27 Feb 2016

I think Alemka’s latest post [below] is beautifully written, although it is so very difficult to put into words what Hellinger represented, and she did it – again – so eloquently.

I am grateful for her clear guidance. I do want to mention her husband Max as well, as I hold him equally dear in my heart. They’re an amazing team in their mission and a lovely couple.

Please read the following article if you would like to understand which journey I’ve been [and keep being] on: The beautiful ‘Family Constellations according to Hellinger’ journey. Hellinger touched my Soul and still does so, whenever I take time to read his texts. What an inspiration, a true healer he was and still is; a Living Legend.

Read Alemka’s Article here

My next physical meeting with Family Systems Constellations is:

Saturday 6 November, 10am – 10:30pm, Headington, Oxford, UK

My booking page is this: https://OxISC.eventbrite.co.uk

Racism from a Systemic Perspective

Racism from a Systemic Perspective

An interview with a colleague

Zita Tulyahikayo is a peer in the world of Systems Constellations, and I first came across her on Instagram; later on LinkedIn. The way she uses words to get me thinking is what fascinates me. An example from her repertoire:

A victim identity is the belief that other people and what they did/do to you is responsible for who you are now, for your emotional pain or your inability to be your true self. The belief of the victim is that the past is more powerful than the present, which is the opposite of the truth.

She speaks to the healthy part in me and in that way helps me get unstuck; I suck up every word she speaks. A while ago, at OTS-Oxford Therapy Centre, which I pride myself to be a member of, I attended a class on “White Fragility”, which got me started on contemplating racism and my whiteness. Soon after “Black Lives Matter” was all over the press and social media, and just recently, a bunch of football fans dissed the coloured members of the England team (and – of course – a lot of racism-themed articles in the press in between those events).

I witnessed Zita speak about her family, mixed heritage and culture during a masterclass, offered by the Centre of Systemic Constellations London about a year ago. She addressed ‘racism’ in a way I had never seen before; she made me feel at ease thinking and talking about it, but she also gave historical facts that opened my eyes to a whole new dimension of ‘the movement of racism’. As a systemic thinker she has interesting insights into the matter, and I believe Zita’s wisdom and way of using words is fascinating and compelling.

I’m not a professional in the world of podcasts, and I’m not what one would call a great interviewer. But Zita excels as an interviewee and makes this session one worth listening to. Please, also excuse the quality of the video, as my equipment is very basic, living on a boat, and my WiFi connection wasn’t the best either due to the hot weather (my roof receiver was overheated).

If you want to know more about Zita or want to get in touch with her, please go to her website: http://lifetherapywithzita.com

Consciousness in the eyes of a Zen Priest

Consciousness in the eyes of a Zen Priest

Zen Priest Michael Pockley talks with me about Zen, Consciousness, God and how to get to a place of love.

Michael was my Zen meditation teacher before we became close friends; we’ve known each other since 2006. He is still my go-to person when my mind is in a pickle about something. I always find myself in a more peaceful, clearer place when I’ve talked with him. He has written several books, which you’ll find on Amazon. And he’s a painter (see link below).

Please excuse the background noise – Michael said he couldn’t hear it; it might be a noise from the ether coming through. Lack of professional gear 😉

If you want to get in touch with Rev. Michael Pockley, MA, PGDip, PGCE:

Art: https://pockley.blogspot.com/

Academic: https://michaelpockley.blogspot.com/

Zen: https://en.everybodywiki.com/Michael_Pockley

or email him at pockley@gmail.com