Finding Love

Finding Love

The title for my upcoming workshop in Abingdon-on-Thames (UK) at Soul Shine Wellbeing Space on 19th June 2021 is “Finding Love“. It came to me in meditation, and at the time I imagined it to be a brilliant headline that would draw people in. To me it was clear that the lack of Love is what divides us, keeps us distant and lonely, or segregated. I’ve got one person signed up at this point, which means people are not quite understanding what this is about. Therefore I thought I’d write a little about what to expect from the day.

The questions we will explore are as follows:

  • How do we recognise Love?
  • What lies in the way of our path to Love?
  • Are we happy to give?
  • When do we lose ourselves in Love?
  • Are we allowed to claim Love?
  • Can we expect Love?

With regard to Love we’re always at the beginning, and we never know everything.

Silvia Siret

The day will be structured in this way:

  • 09:45 – 10:00 – Meet and greet with a cuppa and a biscuit
  • 10:00 – 10:30 – Sit in circle, introductions, sharing
  • 10:30 – 11:30 – Dialogue about above questions
  • 11:30 – 13:00 – We’ll look into a participant’s love issue
  • 13:00 – 13:30 – Lunch Break
  • 13:30 – 15:00 – We’ll look into another participant’s love issue

The tools I’m using are

  • Guided meditation / mindfulness exercises
  • Dialogue according to Bohm
  • Systemic Constellation Work (Family Constellations)
  • Coaching

I’ve been facilitating group workshops since 2006 and am known to hold safe spaces.

These kinds of group experiences always create a sense of awe, bonding, support and hope, as well as the understanding that we all have things in common. Whenever we explore into someone’s issue together, it feels like a huge gift to the rest of us, as we learn so much from each other.

Please, do put your questions into the comments below; others might be interested, too. Alternatively, contact me via my contact tab (see menu).

More info and booking, click here: Eventbrite

Capitalism – A potent ground for the growth of fear?

Capitalism – A potent ground for the growth of fear?

When this advert kept coming up on my facebook timeline, I noticed I felt triggered:

Silvia Siret, Therapy, OxISC

When I’m triggered, I become active. So, I wrote something on facebook to express my thoughts. Following that, I wrote a blog post here, on this very page that you’re reading right now. A few days have passed, I’ve calmed down, got my thoughts together and I’m now much clearer about what happened for me. So, I’ve deleted it all and start again.

At first, I just ranted about me not wishing to see adverts like that, as I believe they talk to my conscience with a bit of a preacher attitude: “Save yourself, but most importantly, save everyone else!” I’m not a person who enjoys unsolicited advice from anyone, really. And I also don’t see myself as a person that doesn’t care about others.

Then – while I was writing – my post turned into a rant about capitalism. Some people immediately applaused me, some were just left confused about what this advert had to do with capitalism. I get that.

I’m going to try again.

I think that the above advert is a phenomenon of our time (playing with people’s fears – I get to that later), but also, at least to me, that facebook has become a powerful tool for those who want to change (shift) people’s opinions. Why? Because this platform reaches billions of people all over the globe.

With lots of money one can pay for advertising that reaches lots of people. So, imagine you’re a millionaire or huge organisation, and you have a mission. Let that mission be, to remind the UK to get the flu vaccine done. Who is the millionaire or rich organisation behind this advert? Probably the NHS. But how do we know who is behind that advert, really? I guess, it’s possible that some pharma companies somehow financially support the NHS to put out such an advert. I don’t want to start a guessing game. I simply don’t know why I’m seeing this and who posted it. It could be that the advertiser is really just caring and believing in the cause. It could also be that this advert is used to maintain or boost the health system as it is. Vaccines save lives. The problem I have with it is that the advert kept popping up on my timeline, although I am not someone who gets a vaccine to avoid having the flu. Yes, I can tell it to go away, but I did see it, and I did feel annoyed. I had my children vaccined when they were young. So, I’m not against vaccines. I just never felt the need to have one against flu, because I’ve had them a lot as a child, they took about 2 weeks to go away, and I haven’t had the flu since I was about 15. I consider my immune system to be fairly good, although I do get the common flu once or twice a year. I’ve been choosing to let my immune system deal with bugs, germs and viruses. Somehow I’ve also been learning from every illness I’ve had. They’ve always stopped me, made me suffer, made me think, made me live more healthily and balanced. I have been growing through physical and mental illnesses through deeper insight and understanding about myself, my habits.

When I saw the advert on the top of this page, I jumped to the conclusion that this is just the beginning of how we are all being told what to do, by addressing our conscience. “Save yourself from the flu, but more importantly, save others from getting it.” How can I do that? How can I save others from getting the flu? If I have signs of a cold, I always consider it could be the flu, so I stay at home, take it easy, throw in the vitamins and/or lay in bed and get through it. Once the symptoms are very mild, I usually get up and going again, slowly, and eventually I expose myself back into the community. On reflection, I feel this is a sensible approach.

Of course, my mind went a step further very quickly: “They’re starting to prepare us for the Covid-19 vaccine.” And that’s why I was triggered, really, I think. If there was a vaccine for Covid-19 available within the next few weeks, I would not want to have it. Why? Because I wouldn’t yet trust it. Why am I panicking about having to get vaccined? Because there are voices out there (mainly on facebook), who make me think I might be forced to be vaccined. Or at least, that I will feel forced to have a vaccine, in order to be able to get a job, become a college or university student, use public transport, and so on. So, I realised that my trigger comes from the fear of being told what to do.

As an adult and a responsible human being, I don’t like to be told what to do, anymore. And, to be quite honest, it has never felt good to be told what to do. You could say, she’s got an authority problem. Yes, I’ve had an authority problem all my life, but I am actually working on it. I don’t like to be told what to do and not. Do you? What I am looking for, all my life, is guidance not stop signs or go signs.

The advert on top of this page, didn’t tell me what to do. But it reminded me that I might be an irresponsible person if I don’t get the flu vaccine. And that, I think is my point. This is what’s lying underneath it for me. I also don’t like to see adverts like that on my timeline, because they seem to drip-feed into me that I am not responsible if I don’t follow the health system’s advice.

What has all that got to do with capitalism? Well – as I said – only very rich people or organisations can afford to put out a thought-provoking advert like the one above. If I, for example, wanted to put out an advert for my cause, which is to stop and reflect on your overall health situation before you buy into pharmacy and pills, I’d need to pluck up a lot of money to create such a powerful advert that reaches millions of people. I can, at the most, invest about 50 pounds per month to boost posts.

Why is this worrying me, and again, what has this got to do with capitalism? Well, it worries me because I believe that the majority of human beings are not aware enough to see through the system of manipulation that has created separation and oppositions in a way that seems to rock the world right now. I am now not sure how safe it is to openly admit that I don’t get vaccinated for the flu. I’m in fear of getting silenced.

Have you seen “The Social Dilemma”? Watch it, because those who co-created facebook and other social media are telling us what it was always about, and that we are all herds of sheep if we don’t wake up.

Wake up to what? I would like to give you the answer to that, but I can’t. For me, waking up means, to start seeing a bigger picture. It means starting to question traditions, habits, world views, so called truths and so on. To me, waking up means to stop being a sheep and becoming an observer and space holder.

Capitalism has led humanity to selfishness, fear, huge gaps of wealth, poverty, inequality and playing with people’s disadvantages.

facebook is one of the platforms on which capitalists can use their power of wealth to keep us in the dark and mislead us. Yes, I agree, it is also a great platform for those who spread the light. facebook is not the enemy. It’s our capitalistic world view. And I could go on about that one. But I’ll do that in another post.

I hope all of this makes sense. Do feel free to comment, but if I get abusive comments I might just disable the comments.

Goddess Liberation

Hi all,

it’s day four of me being bald, and I’ve had some time to catch up with my heart. Because I’ve had a horrible cold, I’ve been home most of the time, not doing much at all. This has given me the time and space to feel into the new me. I’ve been looking into the mirror a lot. It’s always strange. Never seen me like this before. I’ve had very short hair twice before, in my early and in my late twenties. I remember on both occasions having this same feeling, like wanting to let go, making a new start. But I’ve never been bald. This one was radical. During the last days my scalp felt odd – very sand-paperish – not a nice feeling at all. Today it’s feeling a little nicer, a bit like dry moss on an old rock. When I now look into the mirror I feel good, really good, about myself. Not only did I achieve to raise over £2,000 and quite a bit awareness for A Band of Brothers in only 21 days, but I also received so much kindness, so many wonderful messages, and my husband has been looking at me in awe for the last 4 days (sho shweet). Wonderful. I did it for me. I needed to let go of the beautiful hair when it looked its best. Seems bonkers, I know. But I am on a self-healing path; finding my growth edges and  shedding layers is what I do. It is very important to me that I walk my talk, that I’m an integral, authentic person. As someone who supports people to let go of old patterns and habits I need to lead the way first and be an example. Right?

Today I was asked twice if I wanted my long hair back. And twice I replied, “I don’t think so, I like myself more like this. It is more me.” The long hair was pleasing others more, in hindsight. To be quite honest with you, long hair felt like a pain to me. The washing, the conditioning, the combing, the hair in my face (urgh – hate that feeling), especially when walking outside with the wind blowing, also the pony tales (not very flattering and giving me headaches), and not being able to wear a hat when having a pony tale. Annoying. All that just to look feminine? Nope. I think I’m done with it. I am feminine. It’s not my looks that make me feminine. It will be interesting to experience how my new look will change people’s perception of me. I think they will see me better. The hair was kind of in the way between me and others; like a barrier.

Anyway – I’m a happy girl. And besides – this whole hype was in order to raise awareness for ABoB. I am so proud that I have done something for them. Because of them my husband is a lot happier in himself, has male support; has more access to his needs and emotions; is able to talk feelings with me and his ‘brothers’; has created deep, long-lasting friendships with some of them; and last but not least he has become an even more amazing partner to me. After 2 years with them he is now ready to mentor younger men and will soon attend another ABoB quest weekend. I am so very proud of him and blessed to love and be loved by him.

All I want with every fibre of myself is to motivate and encourage others to also be bold, courageous, brave. I do believe that if you don’t play you won’t win. Yes, it can back-fire sometimes. But without giving it a go you’ll never know. I certainly have landed on my bottom a few times in my life, but I far more often felt like winning the jack pot. Do make sure, though, that you have created a support network around you first. It’s important to be held by your community of like-minded people. It can feel very lonely if you do a courageous act and have no one to cheer you on, back you up and hold you during the transformation.

bald, bold, brave, courageous, Silvia Siret, OxISC, change, positive change

Silvia, the liberated Goddess

PS: Huge thanks to Amanda Tracey, who did the shaving and holding space for me. She’s my big hero. Her page www.goddessliberation.com is worth checking out. Lots of great events on offer for women.