new attitude

Inner Child Work
by

Inner Child Work

The wound was not your fault, but the healing is your responsibility

It is so easy to blame the parent or parents (or anyone) for the misery we might be going through. But they did what they did with what they knew at the time. And it was what it was; there is no turning back the time. We cannot change what happened. So why resist reality? Acknowledging what was and what is, is the first step towards peace. Saying “yes” to the past is more powerful than resisting to accept it. Now, when acceptance enters our system, we can attend to those feelings we were not able to express when we were subjected to emotional and/or physical bruising. Our parents (or whoever hurt us) may still not have the skills to hold us in that pain. But we know what we needed when we were in that place. So now we make sure we give ourselves what we needed then. Step by step. Slowly and intentionally. Sometimes, this means reaching out to someone who can hold us when we’re hurting. And this is how it goes. Until we have attended to all those inner children and teenagers inside. And that can take a lifetime. And that is okay.

#healingtrauma #selfhealing #healingispossible #healingisajourney #healingisaprocess #howtoparentyourself #HowtoHeal #selfdevelopment #TheTRANSFORMProcessTM

by

New attitude

I have been working on my self-image during the past three months. Not only have I been seeing my mentor (Martin Honeywell, Oxford) once a month and started a 6-month health coaching, but also have I painfully felt my lack of self-value, sat in meditation with those feelings, spoken about it with other people, reflected on it during workshops and done a constellation on wealth/money (which, amongst other things, brought up the issue about self value). I have been finding myself thinking negativ thoughts about my self and correcting them but also getting to the bottom of them, and I’ve been asking for feedback and cuddles/hugs from others to nurture my self. I’ve been looking into the mirror, trying to focus on the beautiful details of me reflecting from the mirror, and I have smiled a lot, especially when I didn’t feel like it.

The most rewarding and enriching thing I did, though, was to carry the positive me into my outside world – to my family, friends, colleagues, to my social networks, like the Fe-line Women’s network in Oxford, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. What I have been receiving from this new way of feeling and presenting my self, goes beyond what I expected.

I am far away from not thinking negative thoughts, but I am more and more aware of them and correcting them, which has enhanced the quality of my life immensly. I am a better parent, partner, colleague and friend, and I have a much better relationship with myself.

Letting praise in and positive feedback is still a challenge for me, I find myself questioning it (“why is she/are they saying it – what do they want in return, are they just being nice?”). But I am getting better at it. The more I appreciate my self, the more I am being appreciated by the outside world – and able to let it in. And that applies to everything I am giving.

The world that I see is my mirror, it’s the mirror of my thoughts and beliefs about my self and the world.

I’ve also been listening to the Audiobook “The Power” by Rhonda Byrne (following her book ‘The Secret‘). I am recommending it to all people who truly feel they want to change. This book can change you (if you let it) – it’s like a positive mantra or affirmation to become the person you really are and that you deserve to be.

Another key to feeling really good – especially on a rainy or for other reasons rather unhappy day – is to stop and think about the good things you have in your life and feel immensly grateful for them. It’s truly uplifting.

Love to my self and the Universe!