Stuff that moves me

Covid-19 is a wake-up call
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Covid-19 is a wake-up call

I put a question to you, and I invite you to have a real think about this:
If we did not have TV / Social Media / Radio / Newspapers – How would we have responded to Covid-19?

The answer is probably different for everyone. But please, do have a think about this question. How would the virus have affected you if you hadn’t got the constant news feed?

It depends on one’s life circumstances, heritage, and how affected one was by this new virus. If one lives in a crowded place, the experience is probably much scarier than in a more remote living area. Some of us may not even have noticed that there was a bad killer virus out to destroy us.

If one has health issues which affect one’s immunity it is probably constantly a worry when a virus goes round as it is always possible that it may cause severe illness or death.

If one is healthy and leads a healthy life style it is very likely that one gets through it okay; maybe bruised, but most certainly okay.

I remember getting the seasonal flu once or twice a year during my childhood and early adolescence. It was always scary for my parents, because I got them really bad. I was always in bed for two weeks and struggling big time through it, and my mum was super worried. Over time, I’m sure I built up good resistance in my system; and from a certain age I never got the flu again; only normal, manageable colds since. I never felt I needed a flu jab. I’ve always somehow managed to lead a balanced life style, thanks to my mother teaching me to eat well.

Vaccinating our children and youth seems wrong to me, as we’re telling them their immune system can’t cope by itself. The message to them is, “live in fear”. Living in fear weakens our immune system. Where will this lead?

I understand that we need to care about and protect the vulnerable, but as far as I know we’ve always done that. Most people are caring and loving. Before this Covid-19 narrative of fear and panic it was actually normal to lose a loved one to a virus, especially a respiratory one.

Since when is it not okay anymore that old people die? What age is actually okay for them to die? Within a very short period of time, our average dying age has risen to quite a high one. Why is it so important to keep people alive at all cost? Is dying not okay? Why? Of course it is devastating. Is it not part of life, though, to deal with illness and loss? Would there be any life without death?

If we as a society keep patching up every ailment instead getting to the root of our health issues and keep vaccinating preventatively, where is this going to lead?

Our planet’s biggest enemy is the human with his greed. We’re all greedy – me included. Why can’t we own that and actually really work on it?

For nearly two years we haven’t been living in order to avoid dying or seeing loved ones die. Is that the answer?

And how is a continuous vaccination programme which makes big pharma bigger and richer (and the beneficiaries much more privileged) the answer to a virus that has changed to a less severe one? Omicron is clearly less severe than Delta. What is this telling us?

What this bug has taught me is that systems are failing. It seems to me that we need the vaccination programme only so that the health care system doesn’t get overwhelmed. Why then not investing in a better health system?

Apparently some medicines are showing good effects in treating the lurgy. Why is not more known about this? Why is that part not more invested in?

Why is there only one narrative out there? Namely, that this virus is a killer and dangerous. If that was so, then mother nature would be quite stupid. A virus can only live if its host lives. I don’t believe that nature is stupid. She shows us in a million trillion ways how intelligent she is.

Nature is about survival of the fittest. Just look at wildlife and you see this very clearly.

So, for me the question is, how can we learn to be more fit.

Our life styles have made us sick and vulnerable. So, is the answer not to invest those billions in better life styles?

It’s not only the amount of money being shoved into patching up. I also see an enormous amount of rubbish being produced and growing our waste mountains exponentially with PPE and all we need for this vax programme. We’re literally causing our planet more grief by trying to control something that humans simply cannot control.

Of course we’ve had big casualties. But this is because we’ve all been not conscious enough about how to live well and be well. We’re still smoking, eating shit, drinking too much, overworking, working in jobs that are bad for us, not addressing our traumas etc etc.

I think the virus is calling us to come back to who we are meant to be – just another species which is called to be in harmony with nature. We are nature.

If we didn’t think (or listen to our thoughts), we would naturally just make sure to live in harmony with nature. Like other species, the weak and vulnerable die sooner than those who are stronger and more adaptable.

What do we want? Do we want humanity to evolve in harmony with planet earth and nature, or do we want everyone to live to 100 and further at any cost?

Our society, our systems are built on quick sand, and we’re simply feeling the effects of it. It’s a collapse – the fruit of our seeds.

Why not concentrate on finding solutions which are beneficial to all rather than forcing us all into submission to systems that are failing? Humanity’s self destruct will only happen if most of us agree to go on as we have and to follow orders from above.

Hey – we have power! We have brains to work this out – collectively.

If we feel humanity should go on, the only answer is to work in harmony with nature. To listen and be in tune with nature. The way we’ve been dealing with crisis is leading us to self destruction. The governments are leading us to self destruction (including themselves, by the way).

Fine, lets vaccinate our vulnerable. But please leave our children out of this! Their bodies will deal with new viruses. They are young and equipped to do so.

And yes, there are people who can’t get vaccinated. Why not pour all those millions into the research, protection and the care they need?

Constant and ongoing vaccination is not the only answer to this virus.

I know only three people who were very ill with Covid-19. All three were not vaccinated, but they survived. Yes, it was hard and ugly. Yes, recovery took long, but they’ve all three come through okay. I know of only one unvaccinated person who died with Covid, and I know it was a shock to the surviving kin. Yes, it is a tragedy. Life doesn’t feel fair.

Who said life was fair?

I truly believe that we with our limited brains cannot really decide what is fair and what isn’t. I think we need to leave this to our mother planet. She definitely is bigger than us, and much much wiser.
Humanity is either going to evolve or self destruct.

I don’t believe that submitting to big tech, big pharma, stupid governments led by self serving clowns and allowing ourselves to live in a virtual reality is what Earth has ‘in mind’ for us – it is not what I think evolution is. To me this smells of self destruction.

I think we all have a choice to make:
Being lead by our hearts or being led by our greed, fear and need to be comfortable.
I have seen so much loneliness, and I’ve witnessed so many being let down by the systems, it is heart-breaking.

We are all called to wake up to what is at stake.

We need to accept that we are finite. We have a life span. It is up to us how we live that life. But living is what we all want. Right?

Well – I am definitely not going to put my life on hold anymore. I will live, even if it means dangerously.

I will resist vaccination mandates and passports. If I have learned one thing during these last 20 months or so, it is that I won’t be liked by everyone, and I can’t please everyone. I also can’t save myself or anyone else. It is literally impossible.

What happened to us through Covid-19 is division.

I stand for unity, kindness and peace. And I know that we all have different needs because of where we come from and where we want to go. All I can do now is to respect my needs and yours and to decide for myself what is right for me and what is not. I can’t decide that for anyone else.

I have experienced the distancing and divide within my own friendships and families. So far, there are not many casualties for me. I am lucky. I am not only lucky, though. I also am courageous enough to stand for my beliefs, but also to keep an open mind and heart.

I choose not to believe anything written or streamed out there anymore. I only believe what feels in alignment with my heart. I should have done just that 20 months ago. But that is another story.

Wherever we stand in this challenging time, I wish us well. I really do.

Silvia Siret

My next Systems Constellations workshop is going to happen on 29th January, 10 am – 5 pm, in Abingdon-on-Thames. If you experience family, friendship or work issues, a constellation is very insightful and often healing.

Here’s the link to my Eventbrite page: https://OxISC.eventbrite.co.uk

Racism from a Systemic Perspective
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Racism from a Systemic Perspective

An interview with a colleague

Zita Tulyahikayo is a peer in the world of Systems Constellations, and I first came across her on Instagram; later on LinkedIn. The way she uses words to get me thinking is what fascinates me. An example from her repertoire:

“A victim identity is the belief that other people and what they did/do to you is responsible for who you are now, for your emotional pain or your inability to be your true self. The belief of the victim is that the past is more powerful than the present, which is the opposite of the truth.“

She speaks to the healthy part in me and in that way helps me get unstuck; I suck up every word she speaks. A while ago, at OTS-Oxford Therapy Centre, which I pride myself to be a member of, I attended a class on “White Fragility”, which got me started on contemplating racism and my whiteness. Soon after “Black Lives Matter” was all over the press and social media, and just recently, a bunch of football fans dissed the coloured members of the England team (and – of course – a lot of racism-themed articles in the press in between those events).

I witnessed Zita speak about her family, mixed heritage and culture during a masterclass, offered by the Centre of Systemic Constellations London about a year ago. She addressed ‘racism’ in a way I had never seen before; she made me feel at ease thinking and talking about it, but she also gave historical facts that opened my eyes to a whole new dimension of ‘the movement of racism’. As a systemic thinker she has interesting insights into the matter, and I believe Zita’s wisdom and way of using words is fascinating and compelling.

I’m not a professional in the world of podcasts, and I’m not what one would call a great interviewer. But Zita excels as an interviewee and makes this session one worth listening to. Please, also excuse the quality of the video, as my equipment is very basic, living on a boat, and my WiFi connection wasn’t the best either due to the hot weather (my roof receiver was overheated).

If you want to know more about Zita or want to get in touch with her, please go to her website: http://lifetherapywithzita.com

Consciousness in the eyes of a Zen Priest
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Consciousness in the eyes of a Zen Priest

Zen Priest Michael Pockley talks with me about Zen, Consciousness, God and how to get to a place of love.

Michael was my Zen meditation teacher before we became close friends; we’ve known each other since 2006. He is still my go-to person when my mind is in a pickle about something. I always find myself in a more peaceful, clearer place when I’ve talked with him. He has written several books, which you’ll find on Amazon. And he’s a painter (see link below).

Please excuse the background noise – Michael said he couldn’t hear it; it might be a noise from the ether coming through. Lack of professional gear 😉

If you want to get in touch with Rev. Michael Pockley, MA, PGDip, PGCE:

Art: https://pockley.blogspot.com/

Academic: https://michaelpockley.blogspot.com/

Zen: https://en.everybodywiki.com/Michael_Pockley

or email him at pockley@gmail.com

The Feldenkrais Method
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The Feldenkrais Method

I want to create awareness of The Feldenkrais Method, because it has been helping me to rearrange my body in a more healthy way, creating healthier synapses in my brain with regard to how I use my body more efficiently, and healing my nervous system with the power of my mind. I’ve been taking my lessons with Ed Woodall, actor and international Feldenkrais teacher. Together with an international bunch of peers, I am enjoying my Feldenkrais sessions very much, as they are honestly more relaxing than challenging.

Because he is such a great teacher, I decided to interview him and use this interview to add to my podcast. This is my maiden interview, so, please forgive me for my non-professionalism and casual way. I’m nevertheless absolutely certain that you’ll enjoy these 50 minutes very much.

I hope you enjoyed this.

If you want to get in touch with Ed Woodall, please go to his website A Sense Of Movement. Please feel free to comment and like.

Do let me know your questions and themes you’d like to know more about in the comments below.

Wishing you All a wonder-full day,
Silvia

Capitalism – A potent ground for the growth of fear?
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Capitalism – A potent ground for the growth of fear?

When this advert kept coming up on my facebook timeline, I noticed I felt triggered:

Silvia Siret, Therapy, OxISC

When I’m triggered, I become active. So, I wrote something on facebook to express my thoughts. Following that, I wrote a blog post here, on this very page that you’re reading right now. A few days have passed, I’ve calmed down, got my thoughts together and I’m now much clearer about what happened for me. So, I’ve deleted it all and start again.

At first, I just ranted about me not wishing to see adverts like that, as I believe they talk to my conscience with a bit of a preacher attitude: “Save yourself, but most importantly, save everyone else!” I’m not a person who enjoys unsolicited advice from anyone, really. And I also don’t see myself as a person that doesn’t care about others.

Then – while I was writing – my post turned into a rant about capitalism. Some people immediately applaused me, some were just left confused about what this advert had to do with capitalism. I get that.

I’m going to try again.

I think that the above advert is a phenomenon of our time (playing with people’s fears – I get to that later), but also, at least to me, that facebook has become a powerful tool for those who want to change (shift) people’s opinions. Why? Because this platform reaches billions of people all over the globe.

With lots of money one can pay for advertising that reaches lots of people. So, imagine you’re a millionaire or huge organisation, and you have a mission. Let that mission be, to remind the UK to get the flu vaccine done. Who is the millionaire or rich organisation behind this advert? Probably the NHS. But how do we know who is behind that advert, really? I guess, it’s possible that some pharma companies somehow financially support the NHS to put out such an advert. I don’t want to start a guessing game. I simply don’t know why I’m seeing this and who posted it. It could be that the advertiser is really just caring and believing in the cause. It could also be that this advert is used to maintain or boost the health system as it is. Vaccines save lives. The problem I have with it is that the advert kept popping up on my timeline, although I am not someone who gets a vaccine to avoid having the flu. Yes, I can tell it to go away, but I did see it, and I did feel annoyed. I had my children vaccined when they were young. So, I’m not against vaccines. I just never felt the need to have one against flu, because I’ve had them a lot as a child, they took about 2 weeks to go away, and I haven’t had the flu since I was about 15. I consider my immune system to be fairly good, although I do get the common flu once or twice a year. I’ve been choosing to let my immune system deal with bugs, germs and viruses. Somehow I’ve also been learning from every illness I’ve had. They’ve always stopped me, made me suffer, made me think, made me live more healthily and balanced. I have been growing through physical and mental illnesses through deeper insight and understanding about myself, my habits.

When I saw the advert on the top of this page, I jumped to the conclusion that this is just the beginning of how we are all being told what to do, by addressing our conscience. “Save yourself from the flu, but more importantly, save others from getting it.” How can I do that? How can I save others from getting the flu? If I have signs of a cold, I always consider it could be the flu, so I stay at home, take it easy, throw in the vitamins and/or lay in bed and get through it. Once the symptoms are very mild, I usually get up and going again, slowly, and eventually I expose myself back into the community. On reflection, I feel this is a sensible approach.

Of course, my mind went a step further very quickly: “They’re starting to prepare us for the Covid-19 vaccine.” And that’s why I was triggered, really, I think. If there was a vaccine for Covid-19 available within the next few weeks, I would not want to have it. Why? Because I wouldn’t yet trust it. Why am I panicking about having to get vaccined? Because there are voices out there (mainly on facebook), who make me think I might be forced to be vaccined. Or at least, that I will feel forced to have a vaccine, in order to be able to get a job, become a college or university student, use public transport, and so on. So, I realised that my trigger comes from the fear of being told what to do.

As an adult and a responsible human being, I don’t like to be told what to do, anymore. And, to be quite honest, it has never felt good to be told what to do. You could say, she’s got an authority problem. Yes, I’ve had an authority problem all my life, but I am actually working on it. I don’t like to be told what to do and not. Do you? What I am looking for, all my life, is guidance not stop signs or go signs.

The advert on top of this page, didn’t tell me what to do. But it reminded me that I might be an irresponsible person if I don’t get the flu vaccine. And that, I think is my point. This is what’s lying underneath it for me. I also don’t like to see adverts like that on my timeline, because they seem to drip-feed into me that I am not responsible if I don’t follow the health system’s advice.

What has all that got to do with capitalism? Well – as I said – only very rich people or organisations can afford to put out a thought-provoking advert like the one above. If I, for example, wanted to put out an advert for my cause, which is to stop and reflect on your overall health situation before you buy into pharmacy and pills, I’d need to pluck up a lot of money to create such a powerful advert that reaches millions of people. I can, at the most, invest about 50 pounds per month to boost posts.

Why is this worrying me, and again, what has this got to do with capitalism? Well, it worries me because I believe that the majority of human beings are not aware enough to see through the system of manipulation that has created separation and oppositions in a way that seems to rock the world right now. I am now not sure how safe it is to openly admit that I don’t get vaccinated for the flu. I’m in fear of getting silenced.

Have you seen “The Social Dilemma”? Watch it, because those who co-created facebook and other social media are telling us what it was always about, and that we are all herds of sheep if we don’t wake up.

Wake up to what? I would like to give you the answer to that, but I can’t. For me, waking up means, to start seeing a bigger picture. It means starting to question traditions, habits, world views, so called truths and so on. To me, waking up means to stop being a sheep and becoming an observer and space holder.

Capitalism has led humanity to selfishness, fear, huge gaps of wealth, poverty, inequality and playing with people’s disadvantages.

facebook is one of the platforms on which capitalists can use their power of wealth to keep us in the dark and mislead us. Yes, I agree, it is also a great platform for those who spread the light. facebook is not the enemy. It’s our capitalistic world view. And I could go on about that one. But I’ll do that in another post.

I hope all of this makes sense. Do feel free to comment, but if I get abusive comments I might just disable the comments.

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Goddess Liberation

Hi all,

it’s day four of me being bald, and I’ve had some time to catch up with my heart. Because I’ve had a horrible cold, I’ve been home most of the time, not doing much at all. This has given me the time and space to feel into the new me. I’ve been looking into the mirror a lot. It’s always strange. Never seen me like this before. I’ve had very short hair twice before, in my early and in my late twenties. I remember on both occasions having this same feeling, like wanting to let go, making a new start. But I’ve never been bald. This one was radical. During the last days my scalp felt odd – very sand-paperish – not a nice feeling at all. Today it’s feeling a little nicer, a bit like dry moss on an old rock. When I now look into the mirror I feel good, really good, about myself. Not only did I achieve to raise over £2,000 and quite a bit awareness for A Band of Brothers in only 21 days, but I also received so much kindness, so many wonderful messages, and my husband has been looking at me in awe for the last 4 days (sho shweet). Wonderful. I did it for me. I needed to let go of the beautiful hair when it looked its best. Seems bonkers, I know. But I am on a self-healing path; finding my growth edges and  shedding layers is what I do. It is very important to me that I walk my talk, that I’m an integral, authentic person. As someone who supports people to let go of old patterns and habits I need to lead the way first and be an example. Right?

Today I was asked twice if I wanted my long hair back. And twice I replied, “I don’t think so, I like myself more like this. It is more me.” The long hair was pleasing others more, in hindsight. To be quite honest with you, long hair felt like a pain to me. The washing, the conditioning, the combing, the hair in my face (urgh – hate that feeling), especially when walking outside with the wind blowing, also the pony tales (not very flattering and giving me headaches), and not being able to wear a hat when having a pony tale. Annoying. All that just to look feminine? Nope. I think I’m done with it. I am feminine. It’s not my looks that make me feminine. It will be interesting to experience how my new look will change people’s perception of me. I think they will see me better. The hair was kind of in the way between me and others; like a barrier.

Anyway – I’m a happy girl. And besides – this whole hype was in order to raise awareness for ABoB. I am so proud that I have done something for them. Because of them my husband is a lot happier in himself, has male support; has more access to his needs and emotions; is able to talk feelings with me and his ‘brothers’; has created deep, long-lasting friendships with some of them; and last but not least he has become an even more amazing partner to me. After 2 years with them he is now ready to mentor younger men and will soon attend another ABoB quest weekend. I am so very proud of him and blessed to love and be loved by him.

All I want with every fibre of myself is to motivate and encourage others to also be bold, courageous, brave. I do believe that if you don’t play you won’t win. Yes, it can back-fire sometimes. But without giving it a go you’ll never know. I certainly have landed on my bottom a few times in my life, but I far more often felt like winning the jack pot. Do make sure, though, that you have created a support network around you first. It’s important to be held by your community of like-minded people. It can feel very lonely if you do a courageous act and have no one to cheer you on, back you up and hold you during the transformation.

bald, bold, brave, courageous, Silvia Siret, OxISC, change, positive change

Silvia, the liberated Goddess

PS: Huge thanks to Amanda Tracey, who did the shaving and holding space for me. She’s my big hero. Her page www.goddessliberation.com is worth checking out. Lots of great events on offer for women.

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Why I went bald

Ben Cole, Film Maker from Brighton, created this little video for me, and I’d like to share it with you:

You can donate here: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SilviaSiret

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I’ve done it – I’ve gone bald for ABoB

Here is the evidence:

You can still donate here: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SilviaSiret

The night before I felt shaky and tearful, realising I’d lose my beautiful hair. I was visualising my looks and how people would stare at me, but I was also starting to grieve the loss of my hair. My husband soothed me and kept telling me how great I was going to look and feel. My sleep was full of dreams of hair shaving and things going wrong. But in the morning I felt calm and ready. Ben Cole, who is producing a film about A Band of Brothers, had interviewed me the night before, and he was filming me while the hair came off – that was all exciting. A few friends and family came to the event, which was so comforting and encouraging. Amanda Tracey (www.goddessliberation.com) did the shaving and the head mandala for me. The whole process took over an hour.

Here is the video about the mandala:

Later I gave another interview to Ben, and we wrapped it all up. I’ve been receiving a lot of support in every way, and I feel so grateful for it all. The day was so beautiful.

Today, the day after, I’ve unfortunately got a cold, but I do feel liberated and at ease with my baldness. I look odd, yes, the bald patch feels cold all the time, and the mandala is gone now, and where my hair was is now a white patch; but I’m happy I’ve done it. My hair has grown just under 1 mm already, and it feels quite rough, going over it with my hand. The strangest thing about it is that when I touch my head, it feels like I’m touching someone else’s. Very weird.

My husband has been the most amazing friend and companion to me. He even got his head shaved two days before me, just to show his support. Isn’t that sweet?

I am now looking forward to talking more about A Band of Brothers, and raising more awareness and money for them.  But I also look forward to having some hair back and starting the hair growth journey again. It’s strange when people stare at me, I’m getting all self-conscious, but I respond with a big smile and remember that it’s still me. I guess this chapter is not over, I’ll have to get through awkward situations and funny short hair in order to get to a point where I like it again. Maybe I’ll actually keep it short. It has its benefits.

My last year has been all about letting go, releasing and finding my true self as well as raising money and awareness for ABoB. It’s self healing, and it’s not easy. I’m shedding a lot of tears; but I also feel more and more whole. It is such a blessing to have my husband by my side, but also the full support of the rest of my family. My children and bonus children have been nothing but supportive and cheered me on. Fantastic! My close friends have also been amazing. It’s so important to have a support network. Without you guys I couldn’t have done this.

Thank you!

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I belong

I would like to share with you how my way of working has transformedimg-20161029-wa0001

  • with observing other constellators
  • through receiving challenging feedback
  • by becoming a peer
  • and by becoming a member of the International Society of Systemic Constellations (ISCA).

When I came to the U.K. in the beginning of 2005, my intention was to become a full-time therapist. It took me 10 years to fulfil this dream and am now in my second year of self employment. In August 2015 I handed in my notice and dedicated my time fully to growing this business that is called “Silvia Siret – Clarity Coach”.  Around May 2015 I was invited to join a systemic constellators’ peer group in Oxfordshire my social networking had finally paid off. When I first met the others and saw them working, I was in awe of the variety of styles and competence that was in the room, I also felt very warmly welcome and accepted. This was a totally new experience for me, as I had never been part of a group of constellators before. It took me 3 or 4 meetings (that’s about half a year) before I dared to facilitate a constellation for a peer, and, boy was I nervous, but I did well. During the next few meetings I became more courageous and after facilitating one in July 2016 I had fully earned the respect of my fellow constellating friends. That felt so amazing – finally being part of a  professional community; and my loneliness in the constellations world had come to an end. As numbers were going down, we decided to end the peer group; and from then some of the eyes were on me to create a new group (more about that later).

What I also had started looking into is the “Intention Method”, a new branch of constellation-like facilitated work that was developed by Professor Franz Ruppert. I did this with the lovely Alexandra Smith (peer group member, UK), who offers regular workshops and teaches a great deal about trauma as well. I find this work interesting – a different approach, but using similar ‘tools’, and equally intuitive and individual as its facilitators. I haven’t quite worked out the fundamental difference between constellations and intention method. But I’m sure I will at one point, as I’m planning to learn more from Alex.

2015-05-24-14-55-53Through the peer group I found out about Yishai Gaster (Israel), whose workshop I attended in London. He demonstrated how to work with “Chaos” and “Deep History”, but I also got huge insight into working one-to-one with floor markers. On that weekend I met the lovely Anu Azrael (London) and Ivana Markovic (London).

2016-02-27-14-28-09-20Soon after Ivana invited me to a workshop weekend with Max and Alemka Dauskardt (Croatia) and I was witnessing those two amazing souls at work. This, by the way, was the weekend I found out about ISCA (of which Max is one of the board members) and became a member very soon after. I went to their International Gathering in Zagreb, Croatia, in September 2016. Again – a very warm welcome from about 60 to 80 fellow constellators over 5 days of workshops and meetings. 000img_6173I was one of them. That feeling … that I finally belonged, that was filling my whole being with excitement, warmth and comfort. I had the opportunity to observe internationally well known facilitators, like Cecilio Fernandez Regojo (Portu2016-10-26-12-06-10gal), Leslie Nipps (California), William L. Mannle (Connecticut), Anngwyn St Just (Arizona) and Marianne Franke-Gricksch (Germany). I can’t even put into words how much I learned from them and a few other fabulous people over those fantastic days in Zagreb. I made new connections, and I stayed in touch with some of them. Wonderful!

Just a weekend after I watched the fantastic Stephan Hausner (Germany, “Even if it costs me my Life”) in London, where I learned so much again and decided that he is a great role model (he works with people who present with physical or mental illness). I’ll attend another workshop with him in March this year, which I’m really looking forward to.

I had been facilitating workshops and one-to-one sessions between 2005 and 2015, during which I still mainly worked in Admin. But I had lacked learning from others than my early teacher, and work was not going well enough to support me financially. A client here, a workshop there, never enough feedback to really reflect. Now, with this new energy and sense of belonging, I started to attract a few regular clients and began to offer 1-day workshops fortnightly.

Since, I’ve been reflecting on 2 challenging feedbacks that I have received over the last 6 months. It’s hard to be challenged, but it’s also hugely rewarding as I really listened and put things into perspective. Both had one criticism in common: that I assumed something and didn’t check in with them and led their constellations in the direction I felt was right. As a constellations facilitator I work with my intuition; so, there is no measure that affirms why I should go this or another way. Only through constant rapport between me and the issue holder can I be sure to properly serve them. In the early days, when I learned the technique, I was very directive, and I followed my own ideas and looked more to what was emerging from ‘the field’. Now this has fundamentally changed, and I listen very closely to my clients and let them lead their own constellations. I do offer interventions and elements from Psychodrama and Gestalt, but only when I feel that the client (issue holder) is stuck in an unhelpful pattern or thinking process, or if they remember a trauma and get fearful and anxious.

Last but not least, during the last 1.5 years I’ve done so much constellation work, either actively or passively, that I feel I’ve gained more experience during this time period than in the hole 10 years before, which is just what I needed to kick-start me into the next venture: OxISC (The Oxford Initiative for Systemic Constellations), which I founded in order to bring together peers again and to offer developmental workshops for facilitators.

The first event under OxISC’s wing will be a 2 day workshop for facilitators with Anngwyn St Just on Trauma & Constellations on 1st and 2nd July this year. I’m very excited about her agreeing to teach us her wisdom and technique. So, these days I’m busy setting up the OxISC website and organising this event.

The feedback after my last workshop (19th Feb 2017) shows how much I have transformed (at least to me it does – haha), so here comes the shameless self-promotional bit:

“Silvia is very natural and supports the space with strength and safety. She has wonderful intuition and instinctively and seamlessly moves the issue holder through their process, whilst ensuring they always act and move forward from their own place. As an issue holder I gained incredible insight into what lies behind my issue and I am able now to address this and move forward with my life. I wholeheartedly recommend Silvia if you want to understand a difficult situation better and find a way of resolving or gaining a different , more helpful, empowering perspective.” (Linda, Nursery Nurse)

“What a wonderful experience! Didn’t know what to expect, but it was an amazing day. Full of Emotion, realisation, empathy, in such a supporting and warm atmosphere. My fellow ‘issue holders’ were so supportive in channelling their roles as we played out each issue. I feel exhausted but cleansed and ready to go. Thank you, Silvia!” (Donna)

“I’d like to thank Silvia for holding this workshop. I felt so supported and Silvia created a safe space so I could express myself fully. It’s difficult to put into words exactly what my experience was like; this is such profound work, so it’s something I recommend trying out for yourself. If you’re looking for a deeper understanding of yourself and your life, a divine connection with others and seeing your life or an issue from another perspective, then this workshop is for you!! I would highly recommend working with Silvia, she is a beautiful soul, caring, understanding, non-judgemental and humble. I feel huge shifts already happening within me from today and I can already feel the healing process taking place.” (Amanda, Reiki Practitioner and Artist)

This is beautiful feedback, and I do feel proud to have become this Facilitator who people trust and who is starting to make a name for herself.

I belong.

Namaste.