Goddess Liberation

Hi all,

it’s day four of me being bald, and I’ve had some time to catch up with my heart. Because I’ve had a horrible cold, I’ve been home most of the time, not doing much at all. This has given me the time and space to feel into the new me. I’ve been looking into the mirror a lot. It’s always strange. Never seen me like this before. I’ve had very short hair twice before, in my early and in my late twenties. I remember on both occasions having this same feeling, like wanting to let go, making a new start. But I’ve never been bald. This one was radical. During the last days my scalp felt odd – very sand-paperish – not a nice feeling at all. Today it’s feeling a little nicer, a bit like dry moss on an old rock. When I now look into the mirror I feel good, really good, about myself. Not only did I achieve to raise over £2,000 and quite a bit awareness for A Band of Brothers in only 21 days, but I also received so much kindness, so many wonderful messages, and my husband has been looking at me in awe for the last 4 days (sho shweet). Wonderful. I did it for me. I needed to let go of the beautiful hair when it looked its best. Seems bonkers, I know. But I am on a self-healing path; finding my growth edges and  shedding layers is what I do. It is very important to me that I walk my talk, that I’m an integral, authentic person. As someone who supports people to let go of old patterns and habits I need to lead the way first and be an example. Right?

Today I was asked twice if I wanted my long hair back. And twice I replied, “I don’t think so, I like myself more like this. It is more me.” The long hair was pleasing others more, in hindsight. To be quite honest with you, long hair felt like a pain to me. The washing, the conditioning, the combing, the hair in my face (urgh – hate that feeling), especially when walking outside with the wind blowing, also the pony tales (not very flattering and giving me headaches), and not being able to wear a hat when having a pony tale. Annoying. All that just to look feminine? Nope. I think I’m done with it. I am feminine. It’s not my looks that make me feminine. It will be interesting to experience how my new look will change people’s perception of me. I think they will see me better. The hair was kind of in the way between me and others; like a barrier.

Anyway – I’m a happy girl. And besides – this whole hype was in order to raise awareness for ABoB. I am so proud that I have done something for them. Because of them my husband is a lot happier in himself, has male support; has more access to his needs and emotions; is able to talk feelings with me and his ‘brothers’; has created deep, long-lasting friendships with some of them; and last but not least he has become an even more amazing partner to me. After 2 years with them he is now ready to mentor younger men and will soon attend another ABoB quest weekend. I am so very proud of him and blessed to love and be loved by him.

All I want with every fibre of myself is to motivate and encourage others to also be bold, courageous, brave. I do believe that if you don’t play you won’t win. Yes, it can back-fire sometimes. But without giving it a go you’ll never know. I certainly have landed on my bottom a few times in my life, but I far more often felt like winning the jack pot. Do make sure, though, that you have created a support network around you first. It’s important to be held by your community of like-minded people. It can feel very lonely if you do a courageous act and have no one to cheer you on, back you up and hold you during the transformation.

bald, bold, brave, courageous, Silvia Siret, OxISC, change, positive change

Silvia, the liberated Goddess

PS: Huge thanks to Amanda Tracey, who did the shaving and holding space for me. She’s my big hero. Her page www.goddessliberation.com is worth checking out. Lots of great events on offer for women.

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I’ve done it – I’ve gone bald for ABoB

Here is the evidence:

You can still donate here: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SilviaSiret

The night before I felt shaky and tearful, realising I’d lose my beautiful hair. I was visualising my looks and how people would stare at me, but I was also starting to grieve the loss of my hair. My husband soothed me and kept telling me how great I was going to look and feel. My sleep was full of dreams of hair shaving and things going wrong. But in the morning I felt calm and ready. Ben Cole, who is producing a film about A Band of Brothers, had interviewed me the night before, and he was filming me while the hair came off – that was all exciting. A few friends and family came to the event, which was so comforting and encouraging. Amanda Tracey (www.goddessliberation.com) did the shaving and the head mandala for me. The whole process took over an hour.

Here is the video about the mandala:

Later I gave another interview to Ben, and we wrapped it all up. I’ve been receiving a lot of support in every way, and I feel so grateful for it all. The day was so beautiful.

Today, the day after, I’ve unfortunately got a cold, but I do feel liberated and at ease with my baldness. I look odd, yes, the bald patch feels cold all the time, and the mandala is gone now, and where my hair was is now a white patch; but I’m happy I’ve done it. My hair has grown just under 1 mm already, and it feels quite rough, going over it with my hand. The strangest thing about it is that when I touch my head, it feels like I’m touching someone else’s. Very weird.

My husband has been the most amazing friend and companion to me. He even got his head shaved two days before me, just to show his support. Isn’t that sweet?

I am now looking forward to talking more about A Band of Brothers, and raising more awareness and money for them.  But I also look forward to having some hair back and starting the hair growth journey again. It’s strange when people stare at me, I’m getting all self-conscious, but I respond with a big smile and remember that it’s still me. I guess this chapter is not over, I’ll have to get through awkward situations and funny short hair in order to get to a point where I like it again. Maybe I’ll actually keep it short. It has its benefits.

My last year has been all about letting go, releasing and finding my true self as well as raising money and awareness for ABoB. It’s self healing, and it’s not easy. I’m shedding a lot of tears; but I also feel more and more whole. It is such a blessing to have my husband by my side, but also the full support of the rest of my family. My children and bonus children have been nothing but supportive and cheered me on. Fantastic! My close friends have also been amazing. It’s so important to have a support network. Without you guys I couldn’t have done this.

Thank you!

A Flower Amongst Flowers

I did it again … I gave another talk. This was number 5. And – again – I loved it.

dasiesI have just recently become a member of the Healerzone (www.healerzone.com) and feel very excited about it, as now I feel I have found my place as a flower amongst flowers. There is an Oxfordshire branch, and I went to my first meeting in Banbury on 12th September, facilitated by the lovely and very supportive Sarah Sienkiewicz (Business Coach).
Without even thinking, I had put my name forward as a speaker and, even though I was very nervous and anxious, I was looking forward to the challenge. I had only given 4 talks so far and didn’t feel very confident at all, yet. Tina Wells (Tai Chi Chih Teacher) was so kind to give Vicky Rainbow (Singer, Nia Dance Teacher), Lottie Moore (Coach, Firewalk Teacher, Sweatlodge Keeper) and myself – the South Oxfordshire girls – a lift to Banbury. What a nice girly journey that was there and back 🙂 I felt more at ease already when we arrived.

We were welcomed very warmly by Sarah and the other ladies. The venue was a fitness centre – a bright room with a kitchen attached – very nice and friendly indeed. We sat in a circle, exchanged thoughts and experience and had lots of time to introduce ourselves as well as ask for anything we needed in terms of support. That was heart-warming. Such amazing, gifted women in the circle – wow!

Then it was my turn – I had only half an hour to introduce myself, tell a bit of my story and explain Systemic Constellations (https://silviasiret.com/what-are-systemic-constellations/); not really possible, I thought. But what shall I say, … I did it. And it felt amazing. I spoke without concept, just from my heart. I’ve taken another courageous step forward and the response and feedback was absolutely wonderful and positive. The group felt drawn to this therapeutic approach and wants to do a whole session with me. I feel THRILLED and soooo motivated.

You have no idea how much I needed this boost. I was about to find another boring admin job and surrender to fear instead of faith. It was not only that I gave a great talk, but I was also hearing what all the other healers and service providers had to say and to offer. What a great bunch! I feel so at home there and know that I will be supported all the way, but I also know that I have a great gift and will be able to help everyone who asks for it.
I also learned that giving workshop spaces away for free is unnecessary.

And g
uess what:  Thanks to my friend Lottie Moore, I’m taking part in a 30 day video challenge. In a closed, safe Facebook Group (Light It Up) I am submitting a video of myself to my sub-group every day for 30 days. Wow – that is so empowering! If you think you should do this too, you can still enroll here: http://www.facebook.com/groups/lightitupvideochallenge  – I’m happy to help.

So here I go, all fluffed up, encouraged, motivated and full of beans. Yesterday I’ve signed up for a Weekend Workshop in London with the amazing Stephan Hausner, who facilitates constellations for people with illness (his book: ‘Even if it costs me my life’). I know I will learn so much from him; so, this is an investment in my growth. The week before I’ll be in Zagreb, Croatia, for an international gathering of systemic constellators, an amazing opportunity to get to know other practitioners and their individual approaches; but also gives me the feeling of being part of a huge community – I am now one of THEM.

But before all this I’ll give a workshop on parenting this Friday (https://www.meetup.com/Systemic-Constellations-Oxford/) and then I’ll go on holiday to Cornwall for 2 weeks with my Beloved. I’ve never been, and I can’t wait to see its beauty.

Wishing you all the boost you need to get/keep going. Here and happy to help and give emotional support. You do need to let your community know if you are looking for support, though; don’t expect them to mind-read 😉

With love and a gratefulherz-rosagrun-gif

Wu Wei Wisdom

david james leesI wish I could have captured the atmosphere last night, when ordained Taoist Master David James Lees spoke to The Oxford YES Group. For me it was the second time to listen to him and receive jewels of wisdom, and – just like last time – I was mesmerised by the power of his words, the way he brings it across and his leadership. Yes, if you weren’t there, you did miss something very, very special. But because you’re here and you’re reading this, I’m going to give you the essence of his talk. Because I believe we should all listen to him and be reminded of the beautiful souls that we are, each one of us 7 Billion individuals on this planet.

He calls his message ‘wu wei wisdom’; and he speaks about yin and yang, as well as – and most importantly – the line between the two, which is the ‘Wu Wei’ – the path of balancing yin and yang within us.

I really hope I’m getting this right 😉

Anyway – So, here are some good tips for your well-being and mental hygiene:

First of all: Drop your shoulders!

Yes. That’s what he told us last night, and the whole room adjusted itself – haha! Drop your shoulders and …. RELAX! Take the tension out of your body, balance your head effortlessly on your neck! And then remind yourself that you are spirit. Spirit that has a physical experience. Everyone has their own journey. Our essence is spirit (‘Shen’ is the Taoist word for ‘Spirit’ or ‘Higher Self’). Spirit could also be translated with Love. We are Love, we came from Love and we’ll go back to Love.

And then there are those sensations in us that we call feelings. You say you ‘feel tired’, you ‘feel anxious’, you ‘feel let down’ etc. David teaches us to avoid the ‘f’ word and replace it with “choose to be”, “I think I am…”. Otherwise you identify with the feeling instead of taking responsibility for your responses to challenges. If you say to yourself “I feel tired”, you are enforcing this state of being, and if you say this all the time, you are creating this reality by reaffirming it constantly. Instead you could say “I choose to be tired”. Somehow the energy of this changes now, and you take responsibility for your response to whatever is happening.

Basically, David suggests to only have 2 states of being: “Green” or “Red”. Does it feel good (green) or not good (red). If you experience ‘Red’, you can now sit with this sensation and ask yourself ‘why’. Go deeper and deeper by always asking ‘why’, until you get to the root of the issue, which is the point in time when you first experienced this sensation (trauma). Find the belief behind the pain/feeling. When you’ve arrived at this point, offer yourself at least 3 choices on how to deal with it. It’s like being your own loving parent guiding you through this process. Once you have chosen how you would like to perceive what happened, you have freed yourself from its grip and can move on. While going through this process, confront the mind lovingly.

The things we tell ourselves all the time – “I’m not good enough”, “I can’t cope”, “I don’t deserve”. Would you tell these things to your child? Basically, if you wouldn’t tell your child, don’t tell them to yourself!

You are disconnected? You can’t be disconnected! You are the source, you are Love! You are weak? How can you be weak? How can the source be weak?

And one last jewel:

Please! Please, love yourself! Yes! You ARE loveable! How? How can you not be loveable? You ARE Love.

Don’t let the mind tell you any different! The mind has only one job: To keep you safe. It’s doing a brilliant job at that. It’s keeping you in your comfort zone. It is spirit (which is what we really are) that expands, grows, is adventurous, creates magic.

Yes, sometimes we get ourselves into a state in which we can’t be our own caring, loving parent. Just know that then you can be gently supported by someone else.

David James Lees – Thank you! Thank you for reminding me that I am worth it, capable, loveable, and that I will always be able to cope.

Please! Come! Back!

If you want more, please go to www.davidjameslees.com There is lots more available for us to learn.

Leap of faith

Talk on 19th January 2016 at the Oxford YES Group meeting

Chris Walton sadly had to cancel last minute due to being taken to hospital. So my good friend Richard texted me and asked me if I was happy to give a talk. I had 2 hours! And I said ‘YES’. I did it without much preparation, trusting I was able to speak from the heart and connect with the audience, also knowing that I am competent in Mindfulness and Family (Systemic) Constellations. I had a fantastic experience of being in my power and received very positive feedback. Feeling grateful and blessed to have such a wonderful friend, community and lovely audience.

I talked about Mindfulness (some how-to’s below) and I facilitated a Family Constellation with a courageous volunteer, who wanted to have a closer/deeper look into an issue of hers. What we witnessed was very touching and moving, and I know that this has helped the lady see what the underlying issue was, as well as a possible solution. We did not have time to go all the way, but she got some valuable insight into her situation. It struck me how the audience engaged in the process, fully committed to support the ‘issue holder’.

So, here are some reminders to get through your day more mindfully and therefore be 100% available at all times:

  • When you open your eyes in the morning, think a positive thought, e.g. what you are grateful for in your life and tell yourself that this day will be a good one because you decide so. Get up in a different way you normally do.
  • When you wash, brush your teeth and do your hair, drink your tea/coffee, eat your breakfast, make everything a sensual experience, using smell, taste, touch, vision and hearing. Stay in the moment and push away any thoughts that are distracting; usually thoughts of the past or the future.
  • On your way to work, take another route, if possible and/or drive more slowly and attentively, give way to pedestrians, cyclists and drivers now and then. Smile at people, look at them. Maybe even say something like “what a lovely day!” to someone. Arrive at work with a smile, infect others with your positivity.
  • At work, allow yourself to breathe consciously at first and then several times during the day. Take breaks! Speak to colleagues! Avoid gossiping at any cost. Engage fully with your job, break it down to small steps rather than getting overwhelmed with the work load.
  • When you take your lunch break (which you definitely should do), either engage with other colleagues (have fun) or walk and find a spot that gives you tranquillity to recharge your batteries. Breaks are not there to engage your eyes and brain even more by looking into your emails/FB etc. They are for you to relax!
  • When you’re back home, take care of yourself. Make sure you’re aware how you are and what you need. Ask for things/help/support/chat/quality time!
  • The most important thing in order to be aware of your own and others’ needs is to be fully available. Mindfulness helps to balance your life in all aspects.

I facilitate a weekly group in Abingdon. You can join here: Abingdon-Meditation-and-Mindfulness-Meetup

Facilitation of a Constellation

Facilitation of a Constellation

Family Constellations are a way of uncovering and changing dynamics that are not helpful, either in your family or at work/in relationships. In a constellation old family trauma can be carefully addressed and healed, in order that more love flows freely through the family system and opens up freedom for your life. It’s about cutting strings that are holding you back and getting greater awareness and understanding of why things are the way they are.

In my ‘Growth Space’ I once monthly facilitate small constellations (amongst other techniques) in order to find out how it works as well as to address issues and find solutions. This space is also creating community, support and friendship. You can sign up here: The Growth Space

Healing

Hello Fellow-Healers and Supporters,

I signed up for and have now started a co-counselling training with the wonderful Celia Wilson, teacher at Co-Counselling International, and the lovely co-teacher James Nichol. Having been through coaching and counselling trainings before, I was a bit uncertain that this was the right step, as I thought I might be bored or ‘underchallenged’, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was the right time to do this course. I am learning different techniques and – being part of a group – experiencing new challenges and touching undiscovered emotional places. I already get a sense of also being part of a wider community, that is there to support me and to be supported by myself. This platform gives me the opportunity to not only reflect myself on a regular basis (without paying ridiculous sums of money) but also to get to know amazing, interesting people and share their and my knowledge and wisdom, and – of course – make new friends.

Last weekend was very intense; we worked from 9 am to 6 pm on Saturday and Sunday. I felt emotionally drained but at the same time totally enriched and blessed to be part of such an amazing bunch of people.

Co-counselling is for everybody. You don’t need to have a background of counselling or coaching at all. You just need to bring the need or desire for self-development. There are naturally more experienced co-counsellors (or teachers) and less experienced ones. But really – it doesn’t matter. The idea is to empty your mind and give ‘free attention’ for a set amount of time and then receive the same for the same amount of time. Intervention tools can and will be learned, but really, what you need is a listener, who gives you their unconditional regard, in order to encourage exploring hidden or covered up places in you.

You basically learn to become a wonderful listener and you learn that there is a network of people who listen to you whenever you feel the need to off-load or just talk.

I had such deep insights last weekend, that I already feel changed and transformed.

Feeling much more self-confident and having created a very powerful constellation session with friends on Monday, I have now decided to run a healing support group (see tab “What’s on?“).

I had been waiting for an impulse and the idea, what kind of group to run, and I’m glad I gave it the time it needed to show itself to me.

Good night and bless all beings!
xxxx

Failure

Should I feel a failure because my workshop didn’t happen for the lack of participants?

No worries! I’m not asking for pity.

I refuse to feel a failure – some entity inside tells me I can do it but it wasn’t the right time. The feeling of being a loser does still come up when I find myself unsuccessful of achieving what I aimed for; also, I feel a little sad and impatient. But something else happens very quickly afterwards these days: I know that I can not see the bigger picture, especially not when I feel down and unworthy. I remember that difficult times have always made me stronger and led to something bigger, better. I simply accept that it is not the time to experience this kind of success. And: Most importantly, I have a fantastic social network which makes sure I don’t get lost in self pity.

So, my workshop didn’t take place. But: I am blessed having had it booked with somebody who wouldn’t charge me for the room. It was a beautiful, sunny day; I had my two daughters with me (doesn’t happen very often) and my husband. And my wonderful, supportive and devoted friend – who had booked a place on my workshop – came anyway to spend the day with us. We went for a pub lunch in Oxford at The Jolly Farmers and laughed a lot and ate a wonderful meal.

I fail. But that doesn’t make me a loser or a failure.

I am successful. Whenever I get the opportunity to work with a person, I feel successful.

Life is beautiful.

Thought, I also start sharing my photos with you. So here is one:

You never know what’s round the corner. In the meantime, see the beauty that shows itself to you.

Bless u all!