leadership

Bad relations
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Bad relations

Whilst agreeing with the statement above, I believe that we still hold a form of inner relationship with family members, whether we like it or not. In my experience it is helpful to work on those uncomfortable relationships, because the negativity or abuse that came from them towards us will have been internalised during the years we had endure it. Until we have made peace with them within us, we will be triggered by the people who act like those family members. We’ll simply meet them or find them represented in other people we meet and have relationships with. So, yes, turning away or not interacting with those family members who continually agonise us is probably advisable, but we still need to address our internal family system in order to find peace. For that to happen we need to get to a deeper understanding, and that usually happens when we allow ourselves to see a bigger picture.
Both my parents were completely unable to regulate their own nervous systems and therefore snapped every time I stretched their patience. It did not take much to be severely punished. It still doesn’t. Through Family Constellations and other healing work I saw how they grew up, their difficult childhoods, their traumatised parents, the hardship they had to survive, I came to understand where they are coming from, and I find it much easier to be in relation with them. I just continually and consciously decide to be with them in a way they can handle. And inside of me, through all the healing I’ve done, I have been holding them with love and respect, despite their failings. That has given me so much more peace. Meeting negative behaviour or abuse from others I can handle so much better, knowing, we all have a history that made us who we are. And besides, I have in some respects failed my children too.

If you are looking for healing your inner relationship with family members, I suggest to get in touch with me for a free 20-minute chat during which we can figure out if I can help.

#selfdevelopment #familydynamics #FamilyBonds #TheTRANSFORMProcessTM

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Healing

Hello Fellow-Healers and Supporters,

I signed up for and have now started a co-counselling training with the wonderful Celia Wilson, teacher at Co-Counselling International, and the lovely co-teacher James Nichol. Having been through coaching and counselling trainings before, I was a bit uncertain that this was the right step, as I thought I might be bored or ‘underchallenged’, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was the right time to do this course. I am learning different techniques and – being part of a group – experiencing new challenges and touching undiscovered emotional places. I already get a sense of also being part of a wider community, that is there to support me and to be supported by myself. This platform gives me the opportunity to not only reflect myself on a regular basis (without paying ridiculous sums of money) but also to get to know amazing, interesting people and share their and my knowledge and wisdom, and – of course – make new friends.

Last weekend was very intense; we worked from 9 am to 6 pm on Saturday and Sunday. I felt emotionally drained but at the same time totally enriched and blessed to be part of such an amazing bunch of people.

Co-counselling is for everybody. You don’t need to have a background of counselling or coaching at all. You just need to bring the need or desire for self-development. There are naturally more experienced co-counsellors (or teachers) and less experienced ones. But really – it doesn’t matter. The idea is to empty your mind and give ‘free attention’ for a set amount of time and then receive the same for the same amount of time. Intervention tools can and will be learned, but really, what you need is a listener, who gives you their unconditional regard, in order to encourage exploring hidden or covered up places in you.

You basically learn to become a wonderful listener and you learn that there is a network of people who listen to you whenever you feel the need to off-load or just talk.

I had such deep insights last weekend, that I already feel changed and transformed.

Feeling much more self-confident and having created a very powerful constellation session with friends on Monday, I have now decided to run a healing support group (see tab “What’s on?“).

I had been waiting for an impulse and the idea, what kind of group to run, and I’m glad I gave it the time it needed to show itself to me.

Good night and bless all beings!
xxxx