My brief explanation of the word “Constellations” and how it works
There will be more … I will explain in more detail how it works and how it can help. So, watch this space.
There will be more … I will explain in more detail how it works and how it can help. So, watch this space.
I would like to share with you how my way of working has transformed
When I came to the U.K. in the beginning of 2005, my intention was to become a full-time therapist. It took me 10 years to fulfil this dream and am now in my second year of self employment. In August 2015 I handed in my notice and dedicated my time fully to growing this business that is called “Silvia Siret – Clarity Coach”. Around May 2015 I was invited to join a systemic constellators’ peer group in Oxfordshire my social networking had finally paid off. When I first met the others and saw them working, I was in awe of the variety of styles and competence that was in the room, I also felt very warmly welcome and accepted. This was a totally new experience for me, as I had never been part of a group of constellators before. It took me 3 or 4 meetings (that’s about half a year) before I dared to facilitate a constellation for a peer, and, boy was I nervous, but I did well. During the next few meetings I became more courageous and after facilitating one in July 2016 I had fully earned the respect of my fellow constellating friends. That felt so amazing – finally being part of a professional community; and my loneliness in the constellations world had come to an end. As numbers were going down, we decided to end the peer group; and from then some of the eyes were on me to create a new group (more about that later).
What I also had started looking into is the “Intention Method”, a new branch of constellation-like facilitated work that was developed by Professor Franz Ruppert. I did this with the lovely Alexandra Smith (peer group member, UK), who offers regular workshops and teaches a great deal about trauma as well. I find this work interesting – a different approach, but using similar ‘tools’, and equally intuitive and individual as its facilitators. I haven’t quite worked out the fundamental difference between constellations and intention method. But I’m sure I will at one point, as I’m planning to learn more from Alex.
Through the peer group I found out about Yishai Gaster (Israel), whose workshop I attended in London. He demonstrated how to work with “Chaos” and “Deep History”, but I also got huge insight into working one-to-one with floor markers. On that weekend I met the lovely Anu Azrael (London) and Ivana Markovic (London).
Soon after Ivana invited me to a workshop weekend with Max and Alemka Dauskardt (Croatia) and I was witnessing those two amazing souls at work. This, by the way, was the weekend I found out about ISCA (of which Max is one of the board members) and became a member very soon after. I went to their International Gathering in Zagreb, Croatia, in September 2016. Again – a very warm welcome from about 60 to 80 fellow constellators over 5 days of workshops and meetings. I was one of them. That feeling … that I finally belonged, that was filling my whole being with excitement, warmth and comfort. I had the opportunity to observe internationally well known facilitators, like Cecilio Fernandez Regojo (Portugal), Leslie Nipps (California), William L. Mannle (Connecticut), Anngwyn St Just (Arizona) and Marianne Franke-Gricksch (Germany). I can’t even put into words how much I learned from them and a few other fabulous people over those fantastic days in Zagreb. I made new connections, and I stayed in touch with some of them. Wonderful!
Just a weekend after I watched the fantastic Stephan Hausner (Germany, “Even if it costs me my Life”) in London, where I learned so much again and decided that he is a great role model (he works with people who present with physical or mental illness). I’ll attend another workshop with him in March this year, which I’m really looking forward to.
I had been facilitating workshops and one-to-one sessions between 2005 and 2015, during which I still mainly worked in Admin. But I had lacked learning from others than my early teacher, and work was not going well enough to support me financially. A client here, a workshop there, never enough feedback to really reflect. Now, with this new energy and sense of belonging, I started to attract a few regular clients and began to offer 1-day workshops fortnightly.
Since, I’ve been reflecting on 2 challenging feedbacks that I have received over the last 6 months. It’s hard to be challenged, but it’s also hugely rewarding as I really listened and put things into perspective. Both had one criticism in common: that I assumed something and didn’t check in with them and led their constellations in the direction I felt was right. As a constellations facilitator I work with my intuition; so, there is no measure that affirms why I should go this or another way. Only through constant rapport between me and the issue holder can I be sure to properly serve them. In the early days, when I learned the technique, I was very directive, and I followed my own ideas and looked more to what was emerging from ‘the field’. Now this has fundamentally changed, and I listen very closely to my clients and let them lead their own constellations. I do offer interventions and elements from Psychodrama and Gestalt, but only when I feel that the client (issue holder) is stuck in an unhelpful pattern or thinking process, or if they remember a trauma and get fearful and anxious.
Last but not least, during the last 1.5 years I’ve done so much constellation work, either actively or passively, that I feel I’ve gained more experience during this time period than in the hole 10 years before, which is just what I needed to kick-start me into the next venture: OxISC (The Oxford Initiative for Systemic Constellations), which I founded in order to bring together peers again and to offer developmental workshops for facilitators.
The first event under OxISC’s wing will be a 2 day workshop for facilitators with Anngwyn St Just on Trauma & Constellations on 1st and 2nd July this year. I’m very excited about her agreeing to teach us her wisdom and technique. So, these days I’m busy setting up the OxISC website and organising this event.
The feedback after my last workshop (19th Feb 2017) shows how much I have transformed (at least to me it does – haha), so here comes the shameless self-promotional bit:
“Silvia is very natural and supports the space with strength and safety. She has wonderful intuition and instinctively and seamlessly moves the issue holder through their process, whilst ensuring they always act and move forward from their own place. As an issue holder I gained incredible insight into what lies behind my issue and I am able now to address this and move forward with my life. I wholeheartedly recommend Silvia if you want to understand a difficult situation better and find a way of resolving or gaining a different , more helpful, empowering perspective.” (Linda, Nursery Nurse)
“What a wonderful experience! Didn’t know what to expect, but it was an amazing day. Full of Emotion, realisation, empathy, in such a supporting and warm atmosphere. My fellow ‘issue holders’ were so supportive in channelling their roles as we played out each issue. I feel exhausted but cleansed and ready to go. Thank you, Silvia!” (Donna)
“I’d like to thank Silvia for holding this workshop. I felt so supported and Silvia created a safe space so I could express myself fully. It’s difficult to put into words exactly what my experience was like; this is such profound work, so it’s something I recommend trying out for yourself. If you’re looking for a deeper understanding of yourself and your life, a divine connection with others and seeing your life or an issue from another perspective, then this workshop is for you!! I would highly recommend working with Silvia, she is a beautiful soul, caring, understanding, non-judgemental and humble. I feel huge shifts already happening within me from today and I can already feel the healing process taking place.” (Amanda, Reiki Practitioner and Artist)
This is beautiful feedback, and I do feel proud to have become this Facilitator who people trust and who is starting to make a name for herself.
Rubin Alaie posted this video on his Facebook Timeline (when you click the link below, the video starts playing):
The original was posted here: https://www.facebook.com/instituut.UNLP/
Albrecht Mahr explains this approach, his experience with Family Constellations, the history and the development. He is one of the leading teachers in the Constellations World. It’s just over half an hour long and very interesting.
I did it again … I gave another talk. This was number 5. And – again – I loved it.
I have just recently become a member of the Healerzone (www.healerzone.com) and feel very excited about it, as now I feel I have found my place as a flower amongst flowers. There is an Oxfordshire branch, and I went to my first meeting in Banbury on 12th September, facilitated by the lovely and very supportive Sarah Sienkiewicz (Business Coach).
Without even thinking, I had put my name forward as a speaker and, even though I was very nervous and anxious, I was looking forward to the challenge. I had only given 4 talks so far and didn’t feel very confident at all, yet. Tina Wells (Tai Chi Chih Teacher) was so kind to give Vicky Rainbow (Singer, Nia Dance Teacher), Lottie Moore (Coach, Firewalk Teacher, Sweatlodge Keeper) and myself – the South Oxfordshire girls – a lift to Banbury. What a nice girly journey that was there and back 🙂 I felt more at ease already when we arrived.
We were welcomed very warmly by Sarah and the other ladies. The venue was a fitness centre – a bright room with a kitchen attached – very nice and friendly indeed. We sat in a circle, exchanged thoughts and experience and had lots of time to introduce ourselves as well as ask for anything we needed in terms of support. That was heart-warming. Such amazing, gifted women in the circle – wow!
Then it was my turn – I had only half an hour to introduce myself, tell a bit of my story and explain Systemic Constellations (https://silviasiret.com/what-are-systemic-constellations/); not really possible, I thought. But what shall I say, … I did it. And it felt amazing. I spoke without concept, just from my heart. I’ve taken another courageous step forward and the response and feedback was absolutely wonderful and positive. The group felt drawn to this therapeutic approach and wants to do a whole session with me. I feel THRILLED and soooo motivated.
You have no idea how much I needed this boost. I was about to find another boring admin job and surrender to fear instead of faith. It was not only that I gave a great talk, but I was also hearing what all the other healers and service providers had to say and to offer. What a great bunch! I feel so at home there and know that I will be supported all the way, but I also know that I have a great gift and will be able to help everyone who asks for it.
I also learned that giving workshop spaces away for free is unnecessary.
uess what: Thanks to my friend Lottie Moore, I’m taking part in a 30 day video challenge. In a closed, safe Facebook Group (Light It Up) I am submitting a video of myself to my sub-group every day for 30 days. Wow – that is so empowering! If you think you should do this too, you can still enroll here: http://www.facebook.com/groups/lightitupvideochallenge – I’m happy to help.
So here I go, all fluffed up, encouraged, motivated and full of beans. Yesterday I’ve signed up for a Weekend Workshop in London with the amazing Stephan Hausner, who facilitates constellations for people with illness (his book: ‘Even if it costs me my life’). I know I will learn so much from him; so, this is an investment in my growth. The week before I’ll be in Zagreb, Croatia, for an international gathering of systemic constellators, an amazing opportunity to get to know other practitioners and their individual approaches; but also gives me the feeling of being part of a huge community – I am now one of THEM.
But before all this I’ll give a workshop on parenting this Friday (https://www.meetup.com/Systemic-Constellations-Oxford/) and then I’ll go on holiday to Cornwall for 2 weeks with my Beloved. I’ve never been, and I can’t wait to see its beauty.
Wishing you all the boost you need to get/keep going. Here and happy to help and give emotional support. You do need to let your community know if you are looking for support, though; don’t expect them to mind-read 😉
With love and a grateful
Talk on 19th January 2016 at the Oxford YES Group meeting
Chris Walton sadly had to cancel last minute due to being taken to hospital. So my good friend Richard texted me and asked me if I was happy to give a talk. I had 2 hours! And I said ‘YES’. I did it without much preparation, trusting I was able to speak from the heart and connect with the audience, also knowing that I am competent in Mindfulness and Family (Systemic) Constellations. I had a fantastic experience of being in my power and received very positive feedback. Feeling grateful and blessed to have such a wonderful friend, community and lovely audience.
I talked about Mindfulness (some how-to’s below) and I facilitated a Family Constellation with a courageous volunteer, who wanted to have a closer/deeper look into an issue of hers. What we witnessed was very touching and moving, and I know that this has helped the lady see what the underlying issue was, as well as a possible solution. We did not have time to go all the way, but she got some valuable insight into her situation. It struck me how the audience engaged in the process, fully committed to support the ‘issue holder’.
So, here are some reminders to get through your day more mindfully and therefore be 100% available at all times:
I facilitate a weekly group in Abingdon. You can join here: Abingdon-Meditation-and-Mindfulness-Meetup
Family Constellations are a way of uncovering and changing dynamics that are not helpful, either in your family or at work/in relationships. In a constellation old family trauma can be carefully addressed and healed, in order that more love flows freely through the family system and opens up freedom for your life. It’s about cutting strings that are holding you back and getting greater awareness and understanding of why things are the way they are.
In my ‘Growth Space’ I once monthly facilitate small constellations (amongst other techniques) in order to find out how it works as well as to address issues and find solutions. This space is also creating community, support and friendship. You can sign up here: The Growth Space
Talking to my friend and business coach Joanna Byrne yesterday over a lovely cup of tea at Rosie’s Tea Room, I had to realise that I haven’t reflected on this very exciting and moving experience in my life, that happened a few weeks ago. She said “It’s never too late!”, which convinced me I could still tell you all about it.
Weeks and days before the Oxford Yes Group talk, I was unexpectedly calm and wondered about that, thinking “I should be nervous”. Now I think, I pushed my feelings away, even the thought about it. The nervousness came full-on on the morning of the day I should give my talk and had the roller-coaster feeling in my tummy all day and most of the evening. I hadn’t prepared myself at all, as I had given a talk before and I knew I could do it – somehow. I hate preparing a talk. I’ve done it last time, and in the end my notes were really just in the way. I prefer to talk from my experience and my heart.
When I arrived, I felt a warm welcome from the Oxford YES Group members. I had my daughter and my friend with me, which made me feel safer. At first only a few people entered the space, but closer to the beginning of the event, the room was nearly full – my heart was bouncing with joy and excitement. I was also pleased to see my friend Jo Woodcock from Fe-line Women, who has been a great supporter through the past years and really is the person who helped me push myself to speaking publicly and gave me the first opportunity to do this at one of her great Word of Mouth events.
Even though I was nervous and not very well prepared at all, I think I did a fairly good job at explaining the work by starting on my personal experience as a child and youngster (although I should have told them why I was talking about that part of my life – I saw some puzzled faces). I went on bringing light into constellation work and how it relates to my own experience as a young person and how it helped me healing my issues and becoming the captain of my boat. It was great that questions were asked in order to clarify things. This made me aware of the difficulty of explaining constellation work, as it is very experiential and intuitive stuff.
The audience seemed really engaged and interested, and they didn’t run away screeming when the break started, even though I threatened to offer a demonstration of a constellation for the 2nd part of my presentation.
For the demonstration the room was kindly changed by the YES crew, the chairs were put into a big circle. When everybody was back on their seats, I guided them all into a very short grounding meditation in order to get them into a collected, supportive state of being. I then asked for a volunteer, and soon somebody raised their hand. That was indeed very exciting, as I had not expected that anyone would come forward to do such deep and intimate work in front of so many ‘strangers’.
And then something happened that is still bringing a smile to my face: A family constellation formed that was giving such deep insight and turned out to be so powerful that all our minds were blown away. I received amazing feedback and made lovely connections as a result, and I think that the person who did their constellation on that evening, got a great deal out of it. I would love to go into more detail, but of course this is sensitive stuff and what happened will always stay only with the people involved. But I would like to say that I was truly touched and moved by the sincere, supportive involvement of all participants and the fantastic Oxford YES team. I’d also like to mention that my daughter, who for the first time saw me perform in the role of the facilitator and speaker was amazed by both my professionalism and the power of constellation work. She observed it all and gave me such valuable feedback, also on the way I could improve my talk. She felt really proud of her mum, which makes my heart swell and pour over with love and gratitude.
I feel, my talk and demonstration were a huge success, and I can’t wait to give further presentations of this unique, powerful, fantastic work called Systemic Constellations (or Family Constellations).
Bless all Beings x*X*x
Hello – long time no see 😉
Last Monday I expected four participants at my taster session. One came. But never mind, I was grateful for the one – and therefore I offered her a free constellation session with me, which would normally cost £65. She was happy to work with me. The session went really well, and I felt both grateful and humble for receiving such trust and openness as well as the willingness to really address an issue. Today, I received such a lovely feedback, that I thought I’d share it with you (why not):
“Silvia holds a space that is warm and welcoming, and her work, about which she is clearly so passionate, digs deep into the heart of our histories, karma, and conditioning. She deals in perspectives, windows into ourselves, into our past, into the scars handed down from our forebears, windows that allow us to find clarity and experience catharsis beneath her compassionate guidance. Intuitive, gentle, and so very welcoming, I can recommend her work for anyone seeking to better understand their unconscious self, and take trans-formative steps towards personal freedom and empowerment. I left the session feeling lighter, a little wiser, and hugely appreciative of this lovely woman!”
Thank you for that! Thank you, thank you!
I know I am passionate about my work, and I know that this is where home is. But it is still so very lovely to get such feedback. I am truly touched!
Anyway – maybe that will encourage you Oxfordshire and Wiltshire (and all other) people to come to my Systemic Constellations Workshop on Saturday 22nd September (10am-5pm). All details on my ‘workshops‘ page.
So, that’s what I wanted to share with you today. Oh, and – I’m going to be on the ‘panel’ of next Fe-line Women’s “Word of Mouth”, which will be about “To blog or not to blog“. I am certainly not a great example of blogging, but I do believe it’s a good thing, and I (and a few other lovely ladies) will tell you why, when we see each other on the 25th September at 7:30 pm at the Pub “Port Mahon” in Oxford (Details: http://fe-line.co.uk/events/to-blog-or-not-to-blog/).
Hope you can make it, Women of Oxford!
Bless you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxx