heart connection

Bad relations
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Bad relations

Whilst agreeing with the statement above, I believe that we still hold a form of inner relationship with family members, whether we like it or not. In my experience it is helpful to work on those uncomfortable relationships, because the negativity or abuse that came from them towards us will have been internalised during the years we had endure it. Until we have made peace with them within us, we will be triggered by the people who act like those family members. We’ll simply meet them or find them represented in other people we meet and have relationships with. So, yes, turning away or not interacting with those family members who continually agonise us is probably advisable, but we still need to address our internal family system in order to find peace. For that to happen we need to get to a deeper understanding, and that usually happens when we allow ourselves to see a bigger picture.
Both my parents were completely unable to regulate their own nervous systems and therefore snapped every time I stretched their patience. It did not take much to be severely punished. It still doesn’t. Through Family Constellations and other healing work I saw how they grew up, their difficult childhoods, their traumatised parents, the hardship they had to survive, I came to understand where they are coming from, and I find it much easier to be in relation with them. I just continually and consciously decide to be with them in a way they can handle. And inside of me, through all the healing I’ve done, I have been holding them with love and respect, despite their failings. That has given me so much more peace. Meeting negative behaviour or abuse from others I can handle so much better, knowing, we all have a history that made us who we are. And besides, I have in some respects failed my children too.

If you are looking for healing your inner relationship with family members, I suggest to get in touch with me for a free 20-minute chat during which we can figure out if I can help.

#selfdevelopment #familydynamics #FamilyBonds #TheTRANSFORMProcessTM

Find Love Within
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Find Love Within

The title for my upcoming workshop in Abingdon-on-Thames (UK) at Soul Shine Wellbeing Space on 11th September 2021 is “Find Love Within“. It came to me in meditation, and at the time I imagined it to be a brilliant headline that would draw people in. To me it was clear that the lack of Love is what divides us, keeps us distant and lonely, or segregated. I’ve got one person signed up at this point, which means people are not quite understanding what this is about. Therefore I thought I’d write a little about what to expect from the day.

The questions we will explore are as follows:

  • How do we recognise Love?
  • What lies in the way of our path to Love?
  • Are we happy to give?
  • When do we lose ourselves in Love?
  • Are we allowed to claim Love?
  • Can we expect Love?

With regard to Love we’re always at the beginning, and we never know everything.

Silvia Siret

The day will be structured in this way:

  • 09:45 – 10:00 – Meet and greet with a cuppa and a biscuit
  • 10:00 – 10:30 – Sit in circle, introductions, sharing
  • 10:30 – 11:30 – Dialogue about above questions
  • 11:30 – 13:00 – We’ll look into a participant’s love issue
  • 13:00 – 14:00 – Lunch Break
  • 14:00 – 17:00 – More sharing, dialogue, and we’ll look into other participants’ love issues

The tools I’m using are

  • Guided meditation / mindfulness exercises
  • Dialogue according to Bohm
  • Systemic Constellation Work (Family Constellations)
  • Coaching

I’ve been facilitating group workshops since 2006 and am known to hold safe spaces.

These kinds of group experiences always create a sense of awe, bonding, support and hope, as well as the understanding that we all have things in common. Whenever we explore into someone’s issue together, it feels like a huge gift to the rest of us, as we learn so much from each other.

Please, do put your questions into the comments below; others might be interested, too. Alternatively, contact me via my contact tab (see menu).

More info and booking, click here: Eventbrite

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Heart connection

My husband and I spent a wonderful evening amongst like-minded people, connecting with our own and each other’s hearts. It was the first of a one-monthly series of ‘Heart Support Circles‘ in Oxford, hosted by Oxford Tantra Wave; well – really hosted by Rowan Parkes. Please, don’t be put off by the word ‘Tantra’. I know that some people would not even consider taking part in an event that had even in the slightest anything to do with Tantra. The Heart Support Circle is Rowan’s “baby”, she hosts it, and the event is not tantric. It is about growing, exploring, connecting – self development really. We got to know Oxford Tantra Wave through a friend who had participated in one of their “Diving for Pearls” Workshops and recommended it to us. Because my husband and I wanted to do something as a couple, that helped us step out of the everyday life stress and connect with each other on a heart level, we participated in their workshop ‘Pink‘, which is – you guessed it – about the heart; and it was an absolutely amazing weekend full of lovely people, experiences and connection. It did not only bring more awareness and tenderness into our relationship, but we also made new friends. So, when Rowan invited us to this Heart Support Circle, we were absolutely delighted and totally up for it.

Again and again we get so carried away by our every day lives, that from time to time we like to do something as a couple that helps us re-connect on a deeper level. Tonight, we met a few people we knew from the Pink workshop and lots of new faces. They were all such interesting, lovely individuals, and we enjoyed every minute of the 4 hours we spent together. Rowan guides people so sensitively and gently into a safe place where one can open up and be vulnerable. As a result, real connection can happen and does happen. I watched so many stressed and tired faces soften and brighten up during the evening, it was just bliss.

I would like to share one exercise of the evening:

At one point we were asked to find a partner and have them mirror our expression of our own heart. We were asked to feel into our heart and-  in a body posture – express how we treat it or what it feels like. Our partner would then copy this posture and we would have the chance to look at it (our heart) and ‘do’ something with it or speak to it in order to make it feel better, or (if it was looking good) even better.
I found myself expressing and then – even more powerful – seeing my heart as a young girl staring into the sky, kind of lost or as if it was searching for something up there. Tears filled my eyes, I felt so touched by this picture, and all I wanted was to get it to look at me and show it the world and to have it connect with Mother Earth and tell it to open up it’s senses to what was there in front of it. My ‘mirror’ responded so beautifully to my attempt to make it feel safe and happy and open up to the world around it. We ended up poking and tickling each other and having a giggle. I felt so much love for ‘my heart’, it was overwhelming. And ‘my heart’ (embodied by my partner) was in awe about the life out there and the connection with Mother Earth and the answers being right in front of its eyes.

So that’s what I’m doing. What an eye-opener! I was actually gutted. I thought I was in such a great place, really grounded. And there I see myself with the head in the clouds and looking for the answers up there.

I am so grateful for this (open) monthly Sunday evening group, which I can recommend to anybody who is interested in connecting with people on a deeper level, but also to them who want to re-connect with their heart on a more or less regular basis. We also brought along vegetarian food to share, and found ourselves enjoying the most beautiful, delicious food.

By the way, Oxford Tantra Wave’s next workshop on the heart is ‘Pink’, coming weekend (6/7 October) in Chorleywood, between Oxford and London, and there are still places available. If you’re interested, contact info@oxfordtantrawave.com or find the details on their webpage.

Good night, World. I’m going to bed now, feeling very tired but enriched and still full of love.

Huge hug!